Why did this have to happen?

Today I am shaky, angry, and over-stimulated. I am anxious and overwhelmed. Yoga did not help. An annoying conversation with my stepmom did not help. I am shaking as I write this and have to leave for work in an hour. I have to see clients...people like I am feeling right now. Today is hard. I want to stay in bed and cry. I feel like a helpless little girl inside who doesn't know why this happened to me. Why I'm not good enough. Why I'm not smart enough. Pretty enough. Successful enough. This little girl doesn't know who she is because she has always been told what she isn't. I am so pent up with anxious and angry energy that all I can do is sit here and cry and take care of myself. No one and nothing can truly help me get through this but me. My world fell out from under me and a major chord within me has been struck. Today I feel that I will never get better. Today I don't want to carry on. My parents don't understand me, he is no longer there for me, and I don't want to emotionaly bleed over my friends all the time. I want to feel better, but I don't want to feel these feelings. I want to take a pill and have these feelings go away. That won't help for the long-term. I really feel broken today and panicked. Ever since this happened my anxiety level has been so high. It's really not fair to me how and why this happened. I don't deserve to feel this emotional pain. I have no release, though I so badly want to let it go.