Knowledge is power.

I have become absolutely fascinated with this topic, my feelings/ processing them, my physiological response, and where all of these emotions are coming from. I've been doing a lot of research on the topic, lots of work on myself (long way to go), and have gotten curious about the neurobiology behind this all. Although I struggle, I am very fortunate for the knowledge, resources, and inspiration that exists out there on the web and in print. I feel less alone and more hungry to learn more about myself and the psychology behind what I'm experiencing. I have struggled with negative thoughts and a sometimes-defeatist attitude throughout my lifetime and want to focus on recovery and solutions for myself and my clients. I'm debating whether there is a future for me in research and I  actually looked up some fully-funded programs. First stop is my LCSW, then figure me out and then where I want to take this career. MBA/ MS? PhD in psych? Super LCSW? Who knows? There is no pressure. I have people who have faith in me. Right now, it's just me, my family, friends and my interest and dreams. The emotional stuff can cloud all of this sometimes, but it's important to see the big picture. Believe me, I am trying.  You can probably tell that I'm in a positive mood now. I usually feel inspired around this time and overall better from my workday. I would normally be running around my apartment doing laundry, doing the dishwasher, etc., but I have made a conscious decision to slow things down and to not do chores if I don't want to late at night after my 1-9 shift ends. I feel better and more relaxed. There is no reason to rush or force things, whether it is with doing the laundry or with my life plans. I must settle into being me first and foremost (not an excuse for not doing the laundry though!).