I wish you know what it was like to be in my head.

I'm seriously wondering if I'm ever going to be OK again or if I'm going to change from this. I can't bear to keep living like this. I need to hear more accounts of people who have conquered this difficult challenge as survivors able to love themselves before loving another. Our computer system is down at work so I have time to write about this. I better go organize my papers. I want to go home early. I'm so very upset about this day, the day I was supposed to be away with my love and my best friend...who is no longer.