They say it gets better...

I have been struggling today and feeling lots of negative feelings at a high intensity. I was supposed to see my friend tonight, but she could not make it and then I made plans with my parents, but they had an emergency to tend to. I received an email about the flight I was supposed to take with him this week. I don't want to repeat or I'll re-feel.  I'm not very hungry and I feel sick to my stomach. I really hope this gets easier. I'm pretty sure I'm coming out of the denial stage and experiencing some very raw emotions. It is in my hope that this hurting leads me to healing and to better things for myself than this pain that stings very deeply in my heart. I am trying to keep the faith. I am going to force some cooked frozen pizza down and lay in my bed and read. Maybe I will fall asleep. I do sincerely hope in my heart that it will get better. I don't see why it wouldn't, but it just sucks now. I think I need some radical acceptance to the face.