From saditude to gratitude

So today started off with a yoga class at the cozy by the river. Some of the people that go there (and that go everywhere in the world) can be super obnoxious. I witnessed one class member act inrecdibly rudely to another. This other is actually a really sweet woman I sit next to during the Saturday morning class. We have great rapport and always ask about one another. Her daughter recently broke up from a 2 year relationship like me. I could not believe that arrogance could exist in a yoga studio. I briefly spoke about the situation to the sweet woman. In that moment, I realized I had a voice and that I identified and supported what was right. Yoga class was pretty easy, so I decided to go to the gym before my doctor appointment in the afternoon. For some reason, the gym has a tendency to make me angrier and perhaps more emotional because the endorphins are going and I have a lot of energy as a result. I found myself questioning everything about everything the moment I sat in the car on the way to my appointment. I thought of all the different things I am changing and that I want him to be in my life. And that we have what it takes to fix this and be able to live well and with each other in love. I sat in this feelings for my 45 minute trip to my doctor. I did not want to sit in them anymore, so I tried calling him. The first time I started to cry and hung up after the voicemail message went on. The second time I left him a voice message, followed by a text message. He did not respond. I don't think that is the worst thing in the world, but I so desperately want him to come home with our stuffed animals, and give US another chance. So I was feeling pretty beat up about this today. I showered, ate some frozen pizza, then took a nap. I was awoken by a text from my friend asking me where I am. I shot up out of my slumber, ordered some chipotle for us, and headed over to her house. She and her mother sat down with me to talk about everything that has happened. There was a lot of love there and a lot of love and fauth in me. I have no doubt that tonight has been one of the bests in a long time. I am really loved, and in different ways, by family, friends, coworkers, mother's of friends, etc. I am worthy of being loved and of finding true love! But first and foremost, true love of myself. I am grateful for all that I have- people, places, and things.